(photography by Ryan Chua)
second semester senior, second semester senior, second semester senior… I anticipated this elusive phrase as I flew, stumbled, and fell through freshmen year. It was the phrase that seemed so far off yet so rewarding as I decided to pull myself back together sophomore year and started all over. It was the phrase that both mocked and beckoned me junior year; school felt interminable at many points during that year. At the beginning of senior year, after spending the best summer of my life in Shanghai and Boston, “second semester senior” seemed surprisingly empty and valueless. That first semester felt like it would pass both slowly and quickly, and now that I was getting close, I worried that there would be nothing greeting me once I finally unraveled that freedom I had waited so long for.
Here I am now, alive and well after the past two (very challenging!) weeks. In not being able to do the things I love, I began to re-see what kind of venues I really enjoy putting my time into, began re-evaluating my strengths, and began making an effort to prioritize what gives me joy and passion. I’m tired of chasing after stepping stones to reach goals that feel empty to me; I am determined to seize each moment and walk my own path, without being afraid of not living up to anyone’s expectations, or thinking that the only way I can find happiness is by achieving concrete milestones, such as graduating with a major that will lead me the highest earnings.
The other day, I was walking through downtown. A street artist was singing the most beautiful (and the only) rendition of Norwegian Wood that I had ever heard. When I closed my eyes, I almost believed it was John Lennon standing there, singing a song I had listened to so many times through earphones. In short: it was incredible and I wondered why more people weren’t looking over to him and appreciating the music instead of quickly walking on past. People seem so busy these days (myself included), but the problem with constantly chasing and exploiting time, is that we lose it all the quicker that way.
Life opens up when you take a deep breath, realize the beauty in the world around you, and fearlessly ask your heart what it wants.
Stay tuned loves,
