I’ve been feeling an increasing pressure these days to grow up
to define myself
to achieve independence
The challenge is certainly fun at times, but most of the time it’s stifling because there’s a quality to the essence of youth that I’m addicted to. If I could, I would be a naive and carefree child for the rest of my being. I’m in love with the idea of no responsibility, because that means all the time in the world to explore my surroundings and chase my creative visions. I can sit in my minds garden in a white sundress and happily water the sprouts. I’m in love with that thought of sitting in a field, with the blue sky around, listening to music and feeling as if time is inconsequential. But slowly, we must to learn balance
Over winter break, I was trying to balance: working a part time job, going to the gym everyday, eating healthy meals, catching up with friends from the hometown, and lastly (perhaps most importantly) recovering from my first round of college finals. I think I managed to do a pretty good job, but I was pretty disheartened at points because it felt like every hour of my waking day was filled. It was pretty physically exhausting and I rarely had a day of just break. There were a lot of books I wanted to read, a lot of content I wanted to create, a lot of small aspirations that found themselves- not for the first time- collecting dust as the more “practical” priorities of my life took over.
I know not to get too discouraged. Twenty four hours is practically infinite if you really get down to business. And it’s important to not underestimate the progress of one step at a time. The most important priority of all is to find a little bit of happiness everyday- to go to sleep peacefully and wake up inspired.
Hope you guys enjoyed these photos! My hair looks startlingly black, it’s still weird to see it in photos. But I think I’m starting to get more and more used to it.
